To Advertise
by Talking Raptors
Summary: Young Pearl thinks she had caught Phoenix looking at a really bad website. Much to his dismay, he isn't. /Minor adult themes/


**To Advertise**

It didn't occur to Phoenix that Pearl had tried to sneak up on him and attempted to scare him in the process. Well, no, she didn't do that. The eight-year-old simply attempted, but stopped in her tracks when she saw Phoenix on a site.

(Why Pearl is here in the first place is indeed a question. Maya had dropped off Pearl in the office without a word, saying Phoenix was busy and left off, 'burgering.')

That's right, she thought, _a dirty site that older men like to go on and ogle such things. _Maya had taught her about these things, (even though she really shouldn't have) and said to be wary of people like them. Little did she know that someone close to her would be _that _kind of person. Pearl's mind was in a state of flurry when Phoenix started swearing in front of the computer monitor, cursing some awful words that she though was gibberish.

Meanwhile, in Phoenix's point of view, he was browsing a site, looking for court records for recent cases. Instead, he was struck by pop-ups of advertisements with rude pictures and 'find out your crush's name'. He sighed exasperatedly, before cursing some numerous words aloud once again, believing he was alone in the office.

Minutes later, Phoenix had successfully closed all pop-ups, written on a post-it to buy 'anti-virus software' and rubbed his temples before he continued his search. This time, he was attacked by several flashing advertisement of rude pictures surrounding his desired article and made buzzer noises, making his mouth and brow twitch in horror.

At the moment, Pearl couldn't take it anymore. She had been watching Phoenix of his so-called dirty acts, and needed to confront him, quick! She decided to do it bluntly, creeping up to him, the buzzer noise muting her tracks as she walked.

"Mr. Niiiiick!" She lunged from her position, gripping his arm with such anger and might. He cringed; the corner of his mouth raised in an irritated manner, brow's twitching and bullets of sweat was running down his forehead. "Don't do this Mr. Nick! Don't hurt Mystic Maya!" Pearl shook his arm wildly, causing the plastic flimsy arm rest to crack and break.

_Oh my god,_ Nick cursed in his mind slightly. "P-Pearls, what are you talking about?"

"T-that!" Pearl pointed at the screen, eyes wide shut because she definitely did not want to see Mr. Nick's 'alone time website'.

"I can explain, Pearls, just let go of me, please…?"

"No, Mr. Nick! I can't let you lie to me! I saw you!" She opened her eyes and trained her gaze to Phoenix's face, looking away from the screen. The girl's lips were pursed and her eyes simply staring through his soul.

_Oh my god, oh my god, _Phoenix started. "It's not what you think, Pearls!"

"Admit it!" She shook him once more. He swore if his arm broke, just like the chair, he is definitely going to take this to court. But _no, _this is an eight-year-old. She's just a young girl!

"Pearls, it was a pop-up… an advertisement. Mr. Nick did not want that advertise—aghhh, geez!" Any minute now, his arm would break. "I'll go to another site, I swear!"

Pearl stopped momentarily, crossing her arms and huffed slightly, her eyes shut tightly again. Phoenix heaved a hefty sigh, slapping his face with his palms. _Oh, boy. _

"Okay, I've gone to another- _oh my god, why is this happening to me?!" _Another advertisement, except it wasn't as bad as the others, but still bad. (How is that not bad as the others?!)

"Mr. Nick, you lied to me!" Pearls had opened her eyes and gasped at what she was looking at. "Gimme the mouse, Nick! You're lying to me, and I'll prove it's not an advertisement!" Pearls proceeded to click the advertisement, much to Phoenix's dismay. "Lawyer style!"

"Pearls, don't click it, it might be a vi-"

As soon as she tapped the left mouse button, the computer froze.

"..rus. _Oh my god._"

* * *

Half an hour had passed since the death of Phoenix's desktop computer and his lovely chair. He was mourning on the office's sofa, lying down and staring blankly at the wall with his mouth wide open. It seemed that his well-being and his soul had also died in the process. Pearl had apparently ran out the office, crying, thinking that Phoenix had scolded her and she had done something wrong.

Minutes after that, he received a call from Edgeworth, to which Phoenix was to be sued of child abuse for making Pearl cry. Maya called as well, after going 'burgering' by herself, saying she'd be joining Edgeworth's team for the time being. Larry, as well, couldn't help ringing him up, saying he'd join his team in the trial.

The three had commended their fallen friend for taking the brutal hit from their tiny enemy, disguised as an eight-year-old acolyte.

Phoenix's life sucked.

**The End**

A/N: Holyy crap, this really happened to me. _Just now_.

I was reading some stuff in , and my MOTHER comes in, makes a ruckus about the woman on the advertisement that was on the same page (if you've seen the 'Civony' web-game advertisement, you'd understand, I mean, what does that woman have to do with the game?!). Then she starts saying how I'm a girl and how I shouldn't do these kinds of things! I keep shouting, 'it's just an advertisement! You've never been on a site with lots of advertisements?' 'Are you sure it's just an advertisement?' Then she attempts to press it, because she 'wants to make sure'. Oh _my god. _

_Oh my god. _Thank goodness I stopped her in time. Read and review, guys! (Oh, and btw, I'm really not sure if this is really T rated. I made sure it's not M, at least by describing the pictures as just 'rude' or 'dirty', and coarse languages as just 'cursing' or 'swore'. )


End file.
